Maa Tujhe Salaam!

A TRIBUTE TO A VERY SPECIAL MOTHER WHO TOOK ALL THE ORDINARY THINGS OF EVERYDAY AND MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL.WHATEVER HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I KNOW, BECAUSE OF YOU, THAT I AM WORTH SOMETHING.

Maa...Mother....Ayee....Amma....the creator....our janani ...a person who picks you up and wraps you in her arms with care...one who nurtures and tells you..that things will be alright..and Most of All!...she's there for You! because she has nothing else to do!!

My Dear Amma,

I thank you for making something out of nothing.

For giving when your pockets were empty,

For meeting me at my Cluny Convent school gate,

For making my mumps not too bad at all...and

for putting raisins and sugar candy in my lunch bag..

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU... AND FOR ALL THE SURPRISES TOO.

Maa Tujhe Salaam!

An Ideal Mother....there are absolutely no hard core rules or written regulations on how to be an ideal or doting mother! The most valuable tip passed on to me by my dearest Amma...is that to be Happy, confident and to be a Good Human being. By understanding the responsibility and instilling in these values from early childhood, the Mother inculcates the best of family values in her children.

She is truly gifted by Almighty with tons of 'patience' and also the rare gem of a quality of not being 'over-indulgent'....both qualities which make children proudly proclaim...She is a child's Best Friend! These two qualities have been passed on to me and my siblings in equal proportions from our beloved parents.

There have been so many occasions, when we look up to them and send a small silent prayer and say..." thank you for being there... tumhe salaam." On a Thursday, the 13th .of June in the year 1991, when my mother passed away , the loss was so tremendous for each one of us in the family. The mighty pillar of patience, love and care had crumbled down, .....but as time passed by...it is again with her loving and fond memories which have helped each one of us to rebuild the pillar with all her love, advice and blessings which come to us everyday!

There were such nice moments with dear Amma. I can never forget her very first visit to our home in Suratkal. After I got married in December 1971., we met in Vittal, during the the Shasti Festival, after which, we took her home in Surathkal campus at AL-18. She stayed only for two days, but watching me taking care of my home, the kitchen especially..all I remember today is her 'pat' on my back and a strong caress which unfolded all the love which was passed on to me with encouragement! It has been the most 'blissful moment' for me ever since.

"maa tujhe salaam!"

Always loving and giving....it was during the festival times, she missed sending the delicacies to me, particularly after the Gowri-Ganesh festival when she made big dabbas of Chauti-khaana, consisting of delicacies like nevriyos, chakli, phenori, modaks, oondes and types of panchakkdaayis! . There were some good friends who would favour Amma by taking this prasad to my lucky sisters settled in Mumbai but very few or none came to Surathkal ....that was often bugging my dear amma, who inculcated the 'habit of sharing'in all her children. But with pride I say that it made me try out these delicacies all by myself, although it never reached her standards of perfection!

The little help which she demanded while preparing anything elaborate, when we were young..was good enough for me as a training, which amma would always say....please at least watch and help ...this will come a long way when you make your own homes! So very true! These were similar to the earliest"Cookery shows" even before the advent of the TV!! We are so lucky and blessed.

"maa tujhe salaam!"

Every time, only when there was a purpose, like when I needed some help, or when there was a family function, she would come over to Surathkal...with more goodies than her clothes! A certain instance which is evergreen in my memory is when she bestowed on me 'showers of praise'..that day I prepared, a simple thoushe koccholi/cucumber salad, made in the way it was made in Belman, at my in-laws, after relishing it she praised saying that its very tasty with a difference...when I told her its the curry which I learnt from amma in Belman..her satisfactory remark that.....I have become a true Philaarkaar, and is no more an Aroorkaar... sent me reeling with joy! Thats the quality every child should imbibe from her best friend...her mother!!! Seeing her child adjust to her new-home and not being over-indulgent!

"maa tujhe salaam!"


During Tarun's thread ceremony, when amma came, she made lovely phenoris, and it was a live demonstration in our drawing room in AP-11, with friends like Vimla--Chitra's mom, kalyani-- Supreet's mom and Uma--Arjun's mom along with neighbours Susheela Hebbar and Yashoda Samaga. Why she chose to do phenories..its an elaborate but beautiful art of piling rotis and getting the uniform layers by gently rolling it. Perfection lies in getting the delicate folds of the fried phenori. Amma's expertise in each fold showed us the quality of dedication and accuracy she put into this sweet dish, or for that matter any delicacy she prepared would be just delicious. She wanted us to learn!

"maa tujhe salaam!"


I am very fortunate to have been a small part of the 'Aroor ' family. A girl-child is always lucky to inherit the charming qualities from her mother and when entering her new home, luckier to learn and adjust to the new family wherein she inculcates and strikes a good balance to form her very own family. She first addresses her mother-in-law as 'Amma'....as she sees her own mother's image in this her new family.

Seeing my mother-in-law for the very first time, my lasting impressions were ...what a lovable and pleasant personality. Her gentleness and soft-spoken nature is so unique, that from day-1...a new relationship was born on a strong base of mutual respect, love and thoughtful understanding. Amma has been very kind and supportive and the weekend visits to Belman from Surathkal are still evergreen in my thoughts till today! Each weekend visit there was something new in store for me to learn.

" maa tujhe salaam!"

Adjusting to the new environment and new members of the family lies in every girl's hands. It is not a difficult task....so akin to young birds learning to flutter their wings and fly high, or for the little fish to swim!! This beautiful quality is absorbed from her parental love and grooming, right from her youthful days. Learning silently she adjusts so well that her maiden home goes into oblivion. Years roll by, and on any occasional visit there...she is all praise of her new family and new home. Undoubtedly her kith and kin , not feeling the least bit offended are so happy for her and her new life. Time flies and soon she is busy with her own family which has started to grow. I am writing my beautiful experience.

" maa tujhe salaam!"

I learnt a lot from amma here by just watching her. The first thing I picked up the art of simple household chores, was cleaning rice, normal practice is...pour it on a thali from the dabba/bag and pick, but here it was very unique. This process is called thandul vaanayvche in Konkani.
Pour rice in a wooden margi/vessel with a lovely shaped broad mouth, flat based vessel carved with two knobs on sides to hold. Rice is stored in 'muudes' grass baskets! Sometimes stored in a large brass pot called 'thandla madke'...the shape is beautiful.

Wash and drain rice a couple of times. Add fresh water and in a circular motion gradually slide and collect little by little of rice and put it in a small basket called 'kurvein', which is meant for this purpose. Finally some sediment or sand gets collected at the bottom of the margi, which is discarded. To perfect this art I had few interesting practise sessions in Surathkal home, the joy lies in finding a few stones as sediment...calls for celebration of learning something new!!!

" maa thujhe salaam!"

Similar occasions were learning to remove the stubborn husk of coconuts. We also had yielding coconut palms in the campus quarters. So picked up the art with all dedication and succeeded after a few months or more. Amma would never ask me to give her a helping hand while cooking for so many people...it was a joint family. If she was cutting vegetables, I would volunteer to help, which she would allow and take up the next job, grate the coconuts. So the jobs were passed on and done with ease. The grinding stone was very huge, which would be the final task!!! Knowing well that it would be impossible for a newcomer like me to even nudge the stone, she would grind herself. But I feel very happy to say that I passed in this test too, but only after several months! The art of cooking in earthen pots, traditional festive cuisine and also serving food I learnt from amma by just watching her.
It is such a colourful and joyous experience when you have a mother's support and guidance.
Its with deep gratitude to both 'ammas'for being 'fountains of inspiration'...and those more recent chat-sessions on aamchi cuisine, with amma who is 94 years of age now, with thorough experience and a dedicated life, helped me write my first recipe book, which will be soon published.






" maa tumhe salaam!"

From Asha's Blog

THANKS TO THE MOTHERS....who made hard times seem good times.
...who faked their portions at dinner so that everyone else got a little more.
...who chopped up the best sari in their wardrobe to make us a pretty party frock overnight.
...who managed to smile when we ran a fever, and sent silent prayers for us to soon run and play.
....who let us grow up and fly free.

" Maa tumhe Salaam!"